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Lessons Coming Full Circle
Lori Labelle

What we are currently experiencing here on Mother Earth is a wonderful opportunity to experience the wonder of evolution. OUCH! Growing pains, I know. In fact one of my closest friends constantly mutters under her breath "No more growth." We both know she is just grumbling, as I do also, when occasionally it seems to be overwhelming. But truly, it is a remarkable time that knows only the boundaries you place on it. Since mid-December I have witnessed with myself and with others spiritual doors opening. It is a time, perhaps more prevalent then any other, that we are being called to examine our lives, to look in the mirror of what is being reflected around us and see what no longer serves the highest intention we can have of ourselves. During this time we are calling to us issues we long ago dealt with and released, so we thought. Be gentle with yourself. It is a time for testing our growth.

These issues and lessons, from long ago or the recent past, are coming up as a test to see if that which we thought was learned and released, has been. For there will be no place for it, if it is no longer to serve us. We must make room within our hearts, souls, and physical bodies for the wondrous new energy of light we are to hold.

It does not come without some discomfort however, as we are constantly having to sit and deal with the consequences of holding on to that which no longer serves us and discover why we have continued to choose that. For some of us, we will choose to rebuild the belief systems which have supported those old beliefs about ourselves. Others will choose not to for it in some way serves them not to. There is no right or wrong, there is just choice and your intent on what you choose to create for yourself.

For me, this test came quickly and unexpectedly. But first I must relate some of my history for you to better understand its importance in my life. It is one of loss, of family and friends. As a child of four my father passed away. It profoundly affected my life in ways I had no way of realizing as a child. I can see now I was always looking for male approval and validation. Years later as a young teenager a close friend of the family an "uncle" passed. Then it was my Grandfather who had always lived with us and whom I had been close to. He passed three months before my high school graduation. I can remember silently pleading with him to please stay to see me graduate. Next, within a year was my best friend's father who I looked up to as a father figure. He had been my math teacher, like my father, he was French and always was breaking into the language. He made me feel closer to my Dad. Then perhaps most profound loss of all came my freshman year in college.

I met Michelle my first day at the girl's private catholic college I attended. Todd was her boyfriend and a constant visitor to the floor. We became fast friends very quickly and he could always be found in my room when Michelle was at class. I knew him for 7 months. One night he was particularly insistent that I join in for drinks at the local hot spot while Michelle had class. I turned him down repeatedly that night. I made truthful excuses, I had to finish this paper I was writing, I wasn't feeling well, etc. Deep down the truth was that I was not at all comfortable with the "bar" scene and did not want to go for any reason. That next morning I found out Todd had committed suicide and my guilt over not going was inconsolable. That I was diagnosed with pneomonia and removed from school before his funeral did not help matters. I began to look at the patterns in my life, men I loved always seemed to leave. So I created a barrier and told myself if I loved someone then something would happen and they would die.

Through my growth as a spiritual being living here in and on this wondrous gift. I began to see the truth and gift each person brought to my life. Came to understand my guilt was unfounded and was able to appreciate I was not being abandoned, that was my issue, and for me to rise above it realizing I was not alone, never could be.

This last month, my former boss passed away. I had not been in touch with him for over a year. I had left a wonderful job with him, in 1996, to go work for a friend, feeling it was time for me to move on. When I heard he had cancer I returned to the area to work for him again. I wanted to be close and help in anyway I could. Bob was a very loving man and in someway he represented everything I had hoped and wished my father could have been. When his treatments were successful he decided to retire and enjoy life more fully. After not seeing him for a year his wife called me to tell me that he had been ill and was being brought home from the hospital for his remaining few weeks, which turned out to be three days.

Everything stopped in that moment for me. All the old feelings rushed forward over the next couple of days, I relived the pain of losing every male in my life and the old feelings of abandonment, now triggered, rushed up again. But with a difference. I met each feeling with love, and acceptance for my vulnerability and lessons I had chosen with each of them. With gratitude I honored the feelings that I experienced yet realized my beliefs about myself no longer supported that feeling of being abandoned. My release and lesson with this issue had come full circle and with my friend's death the last bits of that barrier I had created to protect myself gentle crumbled. I began to realize the importance of this as I knew I could now give and receive love freely without the need to protect myself. That this happened now so that in the future I would open myself more fully to experience that which I have chosen to. I can now draw to me that which I have desired, without pushing it away at the same time. I can embrace it, unconditionally. It was an incredible release and gift to experience. Bob had no way of knowing what a gift and blessing he was to me while he lived but he knows now and I can be thankful for that.

This is a wondrous time..... We can create absolutely incredible opportunities for ourselves with what is being offered to us by Spirit. I hope in my sharing that which I experience and perceive you can use it to see something in your own life. Use it as a tool, to empower yourself, to make the most of these opening doors. We can create miracles everyday, they are just a perception away.

Bless your hearts!

(c) 2001-2007 Lori Labelle - All rights reserved.



About the Author:

Lori Labelle, owner of Healing Touch Creations, is a healing facilitator and angel craftsperson living in the Green Mountains of Vermont. She may be contacted at HeartOfAHealer7@aol.com or at http://healingtouchcreation.tripod.com/

 
 
 


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